“My daughter just sneezed into my yawning mouth.”

1.

My son tossed this at me when I told him to clean his room. I hate kids. 

2.

Just when you think he’s dressed to impress, the boom …….

3.

Yesterday I told my nephew Im not allowed to eat popsicles (bcuz my sis doesn’t want him eating junk & he copies me)
So he pulls me into the bathroom, slams the door, and whispers: “ssshhhh I got us both popsicles but we need to eat them in here so my mom doesn’t find out” 

4.

Best celebrity shot ever.

5.

My little brother learned how to use the water dispenser for our fridge and…

6.

My daughter got in trouble for calling a kid who stole her pencil a Hanzo main. My husband and I have been laughing for half an hour.

 

8.

My badass little cousin ordered $300 worth of toys w/o my aunt & uncle knowing. This is a picture of how everyone found out.

9.

Pls when is school resuming  am tired already 

10.

My little sister came home crying “ they keep saying I look like cardi B “ I LOST ITTTT 

11.

I was in AT&T today and this was on the display phone…

12.

My little brothers a dumbass lmao Fox News left his ass on read 

13.

I got my son a debit card and the first thing he buys…..

14.

My little brother found this condom in my room and…

15.

My 3yo said she wanted to be an astronaut, and I said she had to study hard, go to college, learn a lot of science, and take a physical fitness test, and she shrugged and said, “That’s just 4 things.” So she’s basically a nonchalant motivational speaker.

16.

I told my daughter I got my hair done and she told me to send her a pic. My 9 year old me gassin me 

17.

My niece wasn’t feeling the lemon water

18.

My daughter just sneezed into my yawning mouth. Seemed really fucking pleased with herself. Joke’s on her. She’ll have to bury me someday.

19.

me running away from all my problems