Sure, the shelter said you were adopting a cat. But what you really got was a house monkey in disguise.
1. “I’m way you can’t have nice things.”
2. “Hand me a couple of fresh batteries, will you?”
3. “Trust me, this won’t hurt a bit.”
4. “Regrets? Yeah, I got a few.”
5. “I climb, therefore I am.”
6. “Technically, I’m available for all sorts of cat burgling, but safe cracking is one of my specialities.”
7. “? Started from the bottom now we here ?”
8. “Oh hai!”
9. “Not trying to brag or anything but you should see me at the rock gym.”
10. “I was born for this sh*t!”
11. “Because every day is pull-up day in this household.”
12. “Oh, hi. You’re home early. I must not have heard you come in …. “
13. “My pedigree? Well, according to the humans, I’m half house panther and half house monkey.”
14. “They brought me in to reimagine the whole ‘If I fits, I sits’ thing and that is exactly what I’m gonna do.”
15. “I was told there would be bananas.”
16. “Cat see, cat do.”
17. “According to science, ocelots are said to be the only cats that can climb down. I’m here to prove the haters wrong.”
Bonus. Dogs Are Furry Balloons
“My balloon corgi got loose and is now stuck to the ceiling!”
“Channeling my inner Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade blimp. I think would make an excellent Fifth Avenue float! ???”
“When all you want to be is a balloon. Did I succeed?”
“That’s what happens when you don’t pay your gravity bill.”
“They told me I could be anything; so I became balloon doge! Much style, many floating, wow!”
“Listens to Drake’s ‘Started From the Bottom’ ONE TIME!”
“If the #dogballoon is a thing, a #catballoon is just as fun! Look at me; I’ve floated to the top! ??”
“Haven’t you guys heard? Dogs are known to float up sometimes.”
“Too much built up of farts … I floated to the ceiling and I’m stuck.”
Half balloon, half potato
“HALP SHE FLOATED TO THE CEILING AND I DUNNO WAT TO DOOOOOO.”
“That’s the last time I eat dad’s strange edibles when they fall to the floor.”
“When balloons meet bleps.”
“Time to cut back on the helium.”
“I, too, carpet my ceilings. It saves on heating costs and keeps the house very quiet.”
“I can’t get down! I fell and got stuck up here. Please send help ASAP!”
“Lionel Richie? Nah, never heard of him.”
“More snorgi than corgi.”
“Put a string on it.”
“LMAO!! He looks like he’s in the “Orbiter” at the fair. You know the ride; the one that spins so fast you stick to the wall and the backboard goes up the wall!”
“A cloud in it’s rightful place!”