Dogs: We don’t deserve them, yet we made them by combining wolves with love and eugenics. It sounds a little less rose-tinted that way, but them’s the breaks.

The point is, dogs are good. Better than us by a long shot, even though the percentage of humans who crap all over the floor is way lower than the percentage of dogs. That’s incidental, at best, and also, so what if I did, it was one time and that was weeks ago, Susan—

Sorry. I’m getting sidetracked. We should probably just get to the dogs.

1. See? We need more great minds out there doing the science that matters.

This particular good boi is studying the effects of jumping up on the couch.

Say what you want about STEM fields, but it’s important research on climb-it change.

2. Trigger warning: “Don’t do that again, Trigger.”

Now that we got that out of the way, this is a classic “Who, me?” kinda face that appeals to me. This dog could teach courses on how to look innocent when you’re clearly guilty.

3. This li’l ninja is even craftier than Trigger. Jack’s got those stealth skills honed razor-sharp.

Honestly, I’d be a terrible vet. I’d wanna help every dog, but I’d also want to help Jack’s self-esteem and wander around like, “Where’s Jaaaack?” until he had to go.

4. And that’s why I shouldn’t be a vet, because it’s important to take care of your dogs so they don’t turn into blocks of wood.

*googles*

Oh. They can’t do that. OK, never mind, this is why I shouldn’t be a vet.

5. “Nacho seat? Not my problem.”— the most attitude on a dog I’ve ever seen.

I mean, nobody’s gonna stay mad at a pup. Not even one this sassy. Good boi.

6. Oh. My. God. BRB, gotta go marry this complete stranger.

To be fair, I’m only marrying them for the connections to get custom dog-shoes made up whenever I want. Love is dead.

7. I’m not gonna lie and say that I’ve never done this after coming back home from a long night out.

Don’t judge me, y’all know you’ve eaten out of a bowl on the floor.

8. Ah, the noble guard dog. Even if she’s done literally nothing besides wear that hat all month, she deserves the award.

In fact, you could probably just assume she gets it through to her retirement.

9. This is amazing, except if you were you were to actually use the rug and lose the dog on it.

It’s very effective camouflage, and if the dog figures that out, you’ll never catch him.

10. Super helpful pooch, even if he just wants to eat the sock and isn’t catering to his human.

Or maybe he has a deep hatred of socks. We may never know.

11. I love that it’s not “run to Grandma” — the dog actually runs away and goes to Grandma’s house.

I guess when you’re in trouble just for being yourself, you and Grandma gotta pug it out together.

12. This dog is throwing so much shade. It’s no wonder she had to turn on the light to take that selfie.

How would you feel if your dog had you on blast this hard? And we’re not even sure it’s her dog.

13. I know I can’t hear the actual sound of this legit concerto, but 11/10 would buy this good boi’s breakout hit.

If he has a Pawtreon, I’d happily support it.

14. Ugh, how could I say “no” to her?

This should be on the exams for morality and ethics for every philosophy major. How can you decide who you love more?

15. OK, confession time: For a second, I thought this meme meant that the person’s dog actually made the sign.

I think it might be just about time for me to pack it in and call it a day.

16. Before I go, just a reminder that dogs can be creepy too.

Of course, it helps when you swap out their faces for a human child.

Ugh, kids really do make everything creepier.